Christmas is all about the happiness and fun between friends and family. We do party we share jokes we do every thing what make that festive season into a long New Year party. here I collected 100 most funny Christmas quotes you must share to keep fun going this Christmas.
Funny Christmas Quotes
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.
I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.
How is the Italian version of Christmas different? One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas.
I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.
If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.
Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
I don’t mind fruitcakes. They’re the one thing during the holidays I’m not tempted to eat.
Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.
As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.
I was going to exchange my brother one time after Christmas, but my mom would never tell me where he came from.
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made out of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
There’s something about Christmas that’s magical. Money just seems to disappear into thin air.
The Supreme Court ruled against having a nativity scene in Washington DC. This was not for religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
A Christmas Nightmare: going caroling for your neighbors, and Simon Cowell is one of them.
My Christmas wish is to spend more time unwrapping presents than I do untangling lights.
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.
You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.
Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles.
From home to home, and heart to heart, from one place to another. The warmth and joy of Christmas, brings us closer to each other.
Probably the reason we all go so haywire at Christmas time with the endless unrestrained and often silly buying of gifts is that we don’t quite know how to put our love into words.
When we recall Christmas past we usually find that the simplest things, not the great occasions, give off the greatest glow of happiness.
May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace, The gladness of Christmas give you hope, The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
Christmas deals are so good that I even consider buying something for someone else.
Why does December always have to be the month when you spend more than you earn.
I love being someone’s Secret Santa – I can avoid buying something for that person as he won’t get to know it was me anyway.
For Christmas this year I will be making a donation in your name into my bank account.
Dear Santa, for Christmas I want a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don‘t confuse it as you did last year.
If you get underwear for Christmas, that means you stopped believing in Santa.
Only an accountant understands the real meaning of Christmas.
Co-workers are like Christmas lights. They all hang together but half of them don‘t work and the other half aren’t so bright.
Dear Santa, for Christmas please send me your list of bad boys and their phone numbers.
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
You know you’re getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
What a wonderful life I’ve had. I only wish I’d realized it sooner.
Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. T hey couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Old age is when you’re forced to.
Christmas is so much worse as you get older. It’s like “What do you want this year?” IDK. Financial security? A career? A sense of purpose? A nap would be nice.
Always jingle all the way. No one likes a half-assed jingler.
Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?
When what to my wondering eyes should appear… but 10 extra pounds on hips, thighs and rear
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother
took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
Even before Christmas has said Hello, it’s saying ‘Buy Buy
Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends.
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white man would be coming into my neighborhood after dark.
Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle!
It’s all fun and games ‘til Santa checks the naughty list.
Be naughty, save Santa a trip.
Dear Santa, this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. You mixed those two up last year.
Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.
Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.
People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December.
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
There has been only one Christmas — the rest are anniversaries.
That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.
One good thing about Christmas shopping is it toughens you for the January sales.
The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.
Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping.
Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?
I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
